I’ve been spending a lot of time lately in 1 Corinthians 13, aka “the love chapter”. Really sitting for a while in one place in the scripture is not something I am used to doing. I’m more of a full steam ahead kind of reader, but God is calling me to rest in this place to soak in what it means to love. It’s sort of the “crock pot” approach to learning. Simmering all day at low heat to allow the Holy Spirit to season and soften my heart.
I’ve been listing the characteristics of love as Paul lays them out, journaling my thoughts and comparing supporting scriptures. This week in the second half of verse five the apostle Paul writes that love is not easily angered. As I journaled about it I truly wasn’t thinking of that characteristic in relationship to me. After all, I reasoned, I am a patient person who really doesn’t get angry often. So as I wrote I found myself using pronouns such as “us” and “we” instead of “me” and “I”. And then the Holy Spirit allowed me an opportunity.
My dear husband asked for help with something. I was in a rush to get to school, but I stopped to help him. However, when he didn’t respond in what I thought was “the proper attitude of gratitude” I got annoyed. And then before I knew it I was standing in the kitchen saying the very words I swore I hardly ever said, “I am so angry with you.” The irony of the situation was not lost on me, but I still left the house in a mood. As I got into the car I continued to dialogue with Holy Spirit saying, “I know I am not supposed to get easily angered, but surely you can see why I am so ticked off! Seriously, I just feel like being mad for a while.”
I turned on the radio full blast and wouldn’t you know it out came a song about forgiveness. I had to laugh as I pictured God choosing that very song at that very moment for me to hear. I waved the white flag and when I got to school I texted Phil “I forgive you“. Isn’t it funny that the lesson we often feel we need to learn the least is the one we need to learn the most?
Father God, thank-you for loving me so much that You take the time to correct me when I need discipline. Lord, keep my heart pliable so that I may have a teachable heart and be able walk in Your ways more fully. I love You!